Today I woke with the desire to be better. Most likely due to the new year upon us and such. However, waking up and saying I'm going to be better, do better, blah, blah can be a bit overwhelming. I'm sure you asking yourself well how do you want to be better, do better? Folks, everything! Right!? Isn't that the logical answer with the new year almost here? Everything. SO OVERWHELMING. I stopped and asked myself "what exactly did I want to be better and what do I need to be better? What in my life could be better by changes I make? Most of all what can't I change?"
So....I decided to clean under my bathroom sink. Dirty, cluttered, unorganized and I had no clue what was in there. Yes, of course, the essentials were there such as my make-up drawer, deodorant and stuff....STUFF. As I started this task I thought I would simply clean out a little three drawer system I had and call it a day. However, the further I got into it, I realized that I had to do it all. OCD, well maybe (shrugging my shoulders, we all have faults). Three drawer system was emptied on the counter and I washed the drawers as I could not for the life of me remember the last time I washed the drawers. As I peered back under the sink all I saw was a bunch of stuff, stuff and more stuff. Shaking my head I knew I had to go through it but where do I start. Light bulb moment. Hey this is kind of like starting over, making better. By looking at all my stuff and deciding what will stay, what will go and will I ever use it again. Painful as this process maybe, yes the improving my life and cleaning my cabinet. I think when we feel the need to step forward in a better light we look at everything and don't know where to start. I also feel as I started to take things out of the cabinet trying to decide whether to keep or get rid of it the task became even more overwhelming. I put a kibosh on that and decided to take it all out, place on the floor and give the cabinet a good wash out and start with a clean slate. Crap, if life was only that easy.....or is it....I think we often hold onto things in our hearts even though we have asked God to forgive us of our sins and let us walk forward with a clean slate.
Cabinet cleaned out....floor a complete disaster. As I looked upon the objects on the floor I realized a few things about myself. (Ya, I probably already knew this stuff, but at times I need a reminder) I keep things in hopes that I will get into that habit to be better but I never ever do it or continue to do it once I start. Example, lotion, I am not a lotion person. I actually envy the ladies that are good about taking care of their skin. I'm the one whose dress pants in the winter are static clung to my legs because my legs are soo dry. SMH. But I keep small bottles of lotion. Why, I really don't know. Folks, I even make sure I have lotion in my travel bag....just in case I may feel the need to slather on vacation. Who am I kidding? LOL. Anybody else do this? Keep things around because one day, you may get around to do it. Crafts, tailoring or even...loss the weight enough to get back into those size 2 pants. Why, do we keep this stuff that we know good and well we are not going to do it. (Disclaimer, you can loss weight but I know when I was a size 2/0 I hardly ate and took terrible care of myself. Now if you are one to take good care of yourself and work out and are a size 2/0, I'm not saying anything is wrong with it. Kudos) To be honest, I did get rid of some lotions and slathered my hands and elbows with a fabulous Burt's Bees hand crème. I can't seem to let go completely of these lotions but I'm okay with this.
I guess what I'm getting at is be careful as to the things you hold onto. Examine your relationships with people, with your stuff and most of all examine your relationship with Christ. I'm holding onto stuff in my heart that is holding me back in progressing forward in certain relationships in my life. Philippians 3:13, "13 No, dear brothers, I am still not all I should be, but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead". Christ speaks to this that we have to look forward not being tied down to our past as He has forgiven our past. Move on. Easier said than done. But as this new years sneaks up on us don't let the devil sneak up on you and hold you hostage to your past. You will lose.
My trashcan is full of stuff and my cabinet is cleaned and reorganized. I'm shocked by the things I let go and really shocked by the number of small dental flosses and hand sanitizers I have. I feel like I'm going to stop examining my past events in my life so closely that is over consumes my thoughts. Instead, know that my past is there, recognize it but not let it control how I move forward. In the moments that I feel my past creeping up in my thought process to ruin a moment in my life, I'm going to God in prayer to keep me focusing forward.
Ephesians 4:24 - and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
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