So I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed. So much to do and so little time. My mind is heavy with worries of travel, of dealing with difficult family members and just plan worry of the good ol' typical question.....Am I doing the right thing? I love the holidays....but then again...I down right hate the holidays. We spend so much hustle and bustle for what? I like the festive decorations, the music and spending time with one another. But this gift for that person and this gift for another....the problem of money and spending evenly. All the thought and worry that goes into that. I made the FB comment of "Change your thoughts.....change your life." I need to do this right now and I need to allow God in to help. I allowing myself to get pulled down by the past that doesn't even matter.
So instead of dwelling on the crap....I'm going to speak to some positive things in my life right now:
This weekend I had an amazing experience volunteering at church. I won't go into detail however I will give you numbers. Over 4,000 toys/gifts donated, 300 families given the opportunity to shop for their families with dignity and joy, over 150 volunteers helped these families, the families paid $12,000 which in turn is turned around to the food bank to help feed the hungry for the next two months. Amazing what a group of people can do if they come together with a common goal in mind. I was uplifted from this experience.
We have currently joined a community group at church. I feel as if the Holy Spirit has led us to the right group and I feel we are building life long friendships. The joy I feel from these new beginnings is so great. I am amazed by how much we have in common with these people but also how much we can learn from each other. Our children are also building relationships with the other children in this group.
We leave soon to go travel to go home to celebrate Christmas with family. I love this time of gathering. The food, the laughter and the tears. This is my first Christmas back with my extended "married" family. This will be a Christmas of memories as this is the first Christmas with out the Oma and Opa. They have passed on and we won't hear their songs from the forgien land and hear their laughter. But we will remember them by listening to the CD that was recorded years ago of their songs. I also look forward to being with my children this Christmas. Being back together as one family....all of us under one roof.
And lastly but not the least....my soon to be husband....again and I are planning our second wedding. I'm excited for this celebration. I am ready to exchange vows with him again and feel like this is the bond that is meant to last. This wedding feels so different. Maybe due to the fact that I am at a different point in my life.
So many negative things I could dwell on and let them destroy my spirit....But that is not what God wants from me. I am to remember to love others, love myself and remember that I am loved.
