The meaning of 9/11 has changed for me over the years. When 9/11 accorded 10 years ago I was a wife and homeowner going through everyday actions without any thought to the enemy. I remember the fear I felt when the first tower was hit, for my father worked in New York City and I didn’t know his working location. I was relieved to get him on the phone later to know that he was safely at home, smart enough to turn around on his morning commute after the first building was struck. I was on the phone with my mom watching the news when the second tower was struck. I felt as if I was in a nightmare that didn’t end and I was only watching it on tv. I am sure for those in New York that day the nightmare was so real that you could taste the dust upon their tongues. My husband came home from work with a wide-eyed fear upon his face. I had never in all the years we were together seen him so scared and worried as to what would happen next.
That night we decided to take a walk around our city block. I can remember the temperature, the silence and most of all the darkness only to be lit by the city street lights and candles that burned upon people’s door steps, such a beautiful sight. I remember the conversation that my husband and I had that night….do you bring children into this world now? What is their future? Is it safe? As we continued to talk we discussed how there have been many times in history that people questioned whether or not to have children due to the mayhem that was occurring somewhere in the world. Wars, hunger, depression….what not. We never did finish that conversation; we just walked hand in hand and knew that we had each other.
Now as the 10th anniversary is upon us for September 11. I am a mother of two children. The meaning of September 11th no longer means that my freedom was broken; it means I have two very important people to protect and nurture. Not only to protect but teach them about God. Teach them that other people believe in other religions and whether my children feel they are right or wrong it is not our right to show hatred towards them for not believing in the same thing they do. My children will learn that it is important to show love and honesty so that people will respect them as a person and as a Christian.
I think we get so wrapped up in the hatred towards others when we think about 9/11. But if I express this hatred towards these terrible people in front of my kids, I will just be repeating the cycle of hatred. I will be honest that I have terrible anger for what happened. My heart breaks every time I think of all that was lost, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, friends, all gone in a blink of an eye because of this disgusting hate. I refuse to get down to this level and become like them.
I will have moments of silence this weekend, where I will watch my children play and think of children playing elsewhere minus a parent because of actions of hate. I will have moments where I will glance at my wonderful man and be grateful that I can feel his warmth wrapped around me this weekend and be sad for those that will never get to experience their loved ones arms again because of actions of hate. I will have the moment where I will rejoice in the freedom to walk my children into church so they can learn about God and love without the fear of actions of hate.
God bless this wonderful country and God bless my children and help me grow them into strong, loving Christians so others can learn from their love and kindness. Amen.
